Chapter 83

"I may not know how to rid this world of war, but at the very least... I'd like for there to be at least one place where that's true. Even a single village will be fine... I want to find a place where no one needs a sword... there, I'll build a grave for those I've killed so that their spirits can finally rest in peace..."

- Thorfinn

Atonement (償い) is the 83rd chapter of the Vinland Saga series.

Overview
Snake and Fox come back to the guests' lodgings to find that Gardar has killed the four guests who were left as guards and escaped. They find evidence that he's been stabbed deeply and rush out to find him with the intent to kill him on sight, as he could not have gotten far without a horse. In the morning, Einar asks Thorfinn if he was serious when he wondered about the possibility of ridding the world of war and slavery. They wonder if there'd be a place they could live peacefully with no need for swords, far enough that even Vikings couldn't reach them. Thorfinn remembers Hordaland's musings about such a place, as well as Leif's stories about a place like that across the sea. Einar is excited by the prospect, but Thorfinn points out that they'd need many other outcasts like themselves to build such a place, that it is very far away, and that he doesn't know exactly where it is. Fox and some of the other guests arrive to search the barn; Thorfinn deduces that Gardar must have escaped and Einar worries for Arnheid.

Summary
Snake and Fox come back to the guests' lodgings in the rain; a knife has been left next to Gardar's cut ropes. Fox confirms that all four of the guests who'd stayed behind to guard Gardar are dead. Snake laments that they let their guard down. One of the guests brings Snake's attention to a dead guard's sword; the rain washed away the blood from the tip, but traces are fat are still visible on it, indicating that Gardar must've been stabbed deeply on top of his previous injuries. Snake tells the guests to move out to put an end to it, as there were no horses left for Gardar to take from the guests' lodgings and he thus couldn't have gotten very far. He tells the men to kill Gardar on sight. In their barn, Thorfinn greets Einar good morning and asks him if he couldn't sleep. Einar confirms and points out it must've been the same for Thorfinn, since he didn't hear him have nightmares as usual. He asks if Thorfinn was trying to keep an eye on him to keep him from sneaking off and doing something reckless. Einar says that he wouldn't, as he doesn't want to trouble Arnheid even more. He says he feels sorry for her, as she lost her family and became a slave in one day through no fault of her own. He thinks that it's not right that it's always the innocent people who suffer the most. Thorfinn says that those words cut him deeply, as he'd done nothing but kill and bring suffering to others until now. Einar apologizes, but Thorfinn says he misspoke and asks him to forget it, as he doesn't have the right to say he's the one who's hurt. Einar says he doesn't think Arnheid knows Thorfinn used to be a warrior and adds that he never told her. Thorfinn thanks him and admits that he's scared of having a kind woman like Arnheid find out the truth about him. He says that in the past, thoughts like he has now never crossed his mind and he doesn't know how he managed to kill so many people with no concern. Einar replies that he can't imagine it, as Thorfinn is the last person he could picture as a bloodthirsty brute. Einar asks Thorfinn if he was serious when he talked about wondering if there was a way to rid the world of war and slavery a while ago. He admits it seems like an impossible dream to him, but wonders if Thorfinn's experience as both a warrior and a slave leads him to think it's possible. Thorfinn replies that war leads to more slaves and that it's hard to think of the two as separate, as losers in war are usually condemned to a life of slavery. He believes fewer wars would reduce the number of slaves, but notes that Norsemen don't think of wars as a bad thing. Men's pride and honour are linked to how many they kill and how much they plunder, so they all sail out as Vikings to gain wealth and prowess in battle. He notes that fathers teaching their sons to fight and sending them off to expeditions is the way it's always been for Norsemen, so fighting is natural in their lives and it would be difficult to suddenly stop. Einar asks what that means for Thorfinn, who's a Nord who rejected what was once natural to him. He asks if it's really so stranger to live life without hurting others. Thorfinn replies that it is strange to their society, as someone like him would be labelled as a coward and shunned by friends, family and neighbours. Einar is shocked, but Thorfinn says it's fine if that's the way things have to be, as he'd rather be an outcast than have to carry the burdens of the dead. He tells Einar that the spirits of those he's killed haunt his nightmares — they ask him why he killed them, and why he killed the fathers, brothers and sons of others despite knowing the pain of having his own father murdered. Thorfinn adds that he must atone for killing them and bring their spirits somewhere they can rest in peace at last. He admits he's at his limit and doesn't think he could take on the burden of even a single other dead spirit.

Einar asks if Thorfinn is the only one who can see the dead spirits, or if other warriors also feel regret for those they've killed. Thorfinn replies that he can't speak for others, but that he doubts other warriors are troubled by such things, as he himself was not tortured by those he killed until he became a slave. Einar says that must mean they wouldn't be able to see it unless they stopped fighting. Thorfinn tells Einar that he's been wondering what he could do to earn the spirits' forgiveness. He doesn't think throwing down his sword is enough, as no longer killing doesn't atone for those he's already killed. He says he must grow as much wheat as he's plundered, build as many homes as he's burned, and make up for all of the death and the destruction he once caused. He doesn't know how to rid the world of war, but wants there to be at least one place or village where no one needs swords. He wishes to build a grave there for all those he's killed, so they can finally be at peace. Einar asks him how he'd protect a place like that with no swords, as it'd be easy pickings for pillagers. Although he hates war as much as Thorfinn now does, he sees the necessity of sometimes needing to fight to protect peace and freedom. He points out that Thorfinn knows full well how far Vikings can travel on their ships to pillage. Thorfinn replies that it's no good if people have to fight to live in peace, as it'll make it impossible to escape from the hell of murder and violence. Einar says it must then all truly be a dream, as there is no place in the world without violence. He wonders if there's a place far away where outcasts like them could live in peace, so far that even Vikings wouldn't come to attack. Thorfinn thinks the words sound familiar and remembers Hordaland's musings from long ago — she had wondered out loud if there was a land across the sea without wars or slavery. Thorfinn tells Einar of the land far across the sea, unreached by the influence of countries and unknown to slavers. Einar asks him if such a place truly exists. Thorfinn confirms, stating that he'd forgotten about it until now, but that a sailor named Leif told him stories of that land in his childhood. Einar gets excited and starts to wonder if they could go there, but Thorfinn says it's too early for excitement, as he doesn't know exactly where that land is and it's very far away. He adds that it'd be very hard work, as they'd need to bring along many other outcasts like themselves in order to build a country. Einar agrees it would be hard, but is still happy to have finally heard something worth having hope for.

Fox and a few other guests reach the barn on horseback and start heading inside; Einar asks them what they're doing. They note that he doesn't seem to be in the barn, but that they should take out everything since it's hard to tell with all the junk inside. Thorfinn deduces that Gardar must have escaped, as there's no other reason the guests would be searching their lodgings. Einar immediately thinks of Arnheid.

Characters in Order of Appearance

 * Snake
 * Fox
 * Rat
 * Wild Dog
 * Mole
 * Sparrow
 * Spider
 * Einar
 * Thorfinn
 * Hordaland
 * Leif Ericson
 * Toad